


the trials of a chad

by steelphoenix



Series: Accidental Crossovers [1]
Category: Hockey RPF, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: An Attempt At Humour, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, also featuring assorted USNTDP alumni, and Toronto Maple Leafs being assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 13:32:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13459287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelphoenix/pseuds/steelphoenix
Summary: Yuri Katsuki has got into the habit of calling any hockey player he encounters 'Chad'.





	the trials of a chad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lazulisong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazulisong/gifts).



> This is 100% the fault of lazulisong, for dragging me into the YOI fandom and ALSO for making me write RPF. Your stuff about Yuri having a harem of ‘Chads’ inspired me probably a little too much.
> 
> If you don't know who the silly hockey children are, more info at the bottom of the work.
> 
> I am hoping that the NHL is not going to be monumentally stupid, and is going to allow its players to attend the Pyeongchang 2018 Olympics. This looks unlikely, which makes me sad.

Auston’s pocket buzzes, and he fishes out his phone. It’s a new message in the USNTDP groupchat ( _usa hockey is do or die_ this week, because Hanny is Extra as shit).

 _Larks: how tf do u tell someone they keep calling u th wrong name_  
_Larks: but like, really nicely_  
_Larks: like nicely as SHIT_  
_Larks: I srsly need to NOT PISS THIS PERSON OFF_

Auston snorts, and responds, _dafuq y u need to be nice?_ as the chat lights up again.

 _Eichel: why the hell you want to be nice to someone who’s getting something that basic wrong?_  
_Kells: wtf dude_  
_Hanny: what even larks y be nice abt it_

Marns, who is a nosy asshole at the best of times, pokes his nose over Auston’s shoulder, reads the screen and laughs. Auston shoves him away with a palm to the face.

_Larks: It’s YURI KATSUKI, alright?  
Larks: HE IS TALKING TO ME ALRIGHT I DON’T WANT HIM TO STOP OKAY_

Marns butts in again, reads it, and collapses on Auston’s shoulder, howling. He’s attracting the attention of the rest of the locker room and Auston picks up a glove just so he can shove it in Marns’ face.

 _Kells: OK fair play_  
_Hanny: oh right. idek, ask a Canadian?_  
_Larks: thanks Hanny, real useful_  
_Eichel: good idea_

Marns sputters, pushing him away and chucking the glove across the room, where it whacks Kadri in the head. Kadri picks it up and hurls it back, beaning Marns straight in the face. Marns begins whining at him about how he’s mean.

 _Auston: my local canadians are assholes, ask someone else_  
_Larks: who’s the most polite Canadian you know?_  
_Eichel: McJesus, duh. most boring person in the world_  
_Hanny: actually yeah maybe_  
_Auston: yeah, if anyone can figure that shit, it’s davo_  
_Kells: worth a try I guess_  
_Auston: good luck_  
_Eichel: have fun dealing with McBoring_  
_Larks: thx guys will let you know_

There is a shriek from across the room. Auston looks up. Kadri has Marns in a headlock, and Rielly is tickling him. Auston sighs, puts down his phone, and goes to rescue Marns.

_X_

Connor is just pulling on his jersey when his phone cheeps in his cubby above him. He frowns, curious. Most people who would text him know that he’s still in practise and won’t answer his phone for at least another three hours. He picks it up and finds there’s a message from Dylan Larkin.

_Dylan Larkin: How do you tell someone that they’re calling you the wrong name? But like… really politely and nicely.  
Dylan Larkin: I really need help on this_

Sometimes that reputation is useful, Connor knows that, it keeps the media off his back, at least. And sometimes it’s a total pain in the ass. But this is weird, and he’s intrigued. Is Larkin pulling some kind of weird prank…?

_Connor: Hi - why do you need to tell someone that?  
Dylan Larkin: Yuri Katsuki won’t stop calling me Chad._

Connor boggles at the phone. That… was not what he expected. He didn’t know what he expected, but it definitely wasn’t that. He tries to find a way to reply, and goes through several responses, at least two of which contain a string of laughing emoji, before he settles on what’s probably the most important question.

 _Connor: Why does he keep calling you Chad?_  
_Dylan Larkin: Because he calls all of us Chad?_  
_Dylan Larkin: all the Wings, I mean_  
_Dylan Larkin: and the Griffins too_  
_Dylan Larkin: actually I think he calls everyone who’s a hockey player Chad and I have no idea why_

For a long, long moment, Connor blinks down at the phone. This is definitely a weird prank. But if he plays along a bit, he can find out who put Larkin up to this and annihilate them later. Especially if it’s Eichs.

_Connor: So make yourself something other than just a hockey player?_

There’s a long pause, and the typing bubble pops up several times and then disappears.

_Dylan Larkin: How?_

Facepalming is totally justified, as far as Connor is concerned. He was Dylan’s captain for the grand total of less than a month, is _younger_ than Dylan, is a country and 3000km away, and Dylan is still expecting him to captain. Still, this is something he can fix, probably. Two minutes on Google tells him that Yuri Katsuki is a Japanese figure skater who is quite famous and also gay and also engaged. Which raises a whole other bunch of other questions that Connor is definitely not asking.

_Connor: He’s Japanese, right? So tell him in Japanese._

_X_

Just over two months later, Yuri Katsuki is very surprised when one of the Chads comes up to him, and in passable Japanese, introduces himself as Dylan and asks how his day has been.

Dylan is very proud when he becomes Dylan-Chad.

It’s an improvement, alright?

_X_

(In Pyeongchang, Connor and Auston meet Yuri Katsuki, and finally understand what the fuss is about.)

**Author's Note:**

> Quick info about the boys featured, if you don't know them: Dylan Larkin is our lovesick idiot and a Detroit Red Wing forward; Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner (Marns) are Toronto Maple Leafs forwards and attached at the hip; Jack Eichel (Eichs) is the saltiest creature on Earth and a Buffalo Sabre forward; Connor McDavid (McJesus/Davo) is the second coming of Gretzky and captain of the Edmonton Oilers; Noah Hanifin (Hanny) is good-looking, knows it, and is a Carolina Hurricane defenceman; Clayton Keller (Kells) is an Arizona Coyote forward and gets left out a lot (possibly because he’s a Coyote).


End file.
